Here’s is an oldie but I think a goodie from me: it needs a bit more love.
High Summer

I am finding things a little difficult personally at present. I guess its just the way of the world. One of the hardest things I have found in life is that for me my word is pretty much my bond unless there is a major problem like an earthquake or similar if I say I will be there I will be there. I have always placed loyalty over everything but also not giving my word to commit to something I cant fulfill. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but I am really beginning to lose faith latterly in much of what I am doing and wondering if it’s just me getting it wrong or taking it too much to heart. So much of life seems to be people saying one thing and doing the polar opposite. Maybe it was ever thus?

I have this contradiction going on. Half of me wants to give up and half of me needs there to be more… I don’t feel too positive today at all. I need a tribe/gang to be part of again… Socially and music speaking of course.
There are an awful lot of very lonely people around my age, mostly blokes (Facebook proves that in many ways evidentaily). Divorced and so forth. The women do better generally in terms of social support from their peers if they are widowed or divorced or singletons for any other reason. I do need to put myself back into circulation socially but I just don’t seem to get out of the door at present. Is it depression of a sort perhaps?

Car service and MOT for the UP was only £135 each going halves with my SO Alison so that’s a result. Hurrah 🙂 No advisory’s again either. Looking at the millage last year was a bit higher with me using it but just on 6000 which is fine. its was doing about 5000 a year before. My Picasso is still chugging on as well. A dose of injector cleaner seems to have cleared its arteries a bit. I do need to sort the headlamps out though as the lenses are a bit dim.

Amazed that my somewhat hesitant piano and vocal performance the other morning of ‘its been a long, long time’ has clocked up 850 views on Facebook. Maybe I should think about a solo act of some sort after all?
I am still having a fight with very low moods though, a sort of depression ‘lite’ I guess would describe it. Its nearly midsummer but we are having what might almost be April showers. Its been very not but also very cool for this time of year too. Everything is out totally out of wac as the saying goes.

Here’s is an oldie but I think a goodie from me: it needs a bit more love.

High Summer

It has been very odd having had a mini heatwave and now gone back to cool slightly below average temperatures again with a lot of rain. My body just cant adjust to the variations to well. I have a small run of gigs approaching in the next two weeks which are quite varied in scope. So that’s something at least. Beyond that it is a bit hit and miss. I am not crystal ball gazing too far into the future at present though. It seems a tad unwise.

Jeff the Facebook guy in Ohio has just got back out of prison after getting busted for an argument over his Medicare. I think he has been inside about 6 months or maybe more. He had to stop drinking whilst he was in the big house and had to wear a fetching orange outfit… Problems are all relative I guess.

I am suffering a bit again this as I write. Too much computer use, arm aches and such like. I spent a long time doing a bit of video editing yesterday which might have been the cause. So a bit of an own goal.

Also I just discovered a new medical condition whilst doom scrolling , and can confirm it is not something I am suffering from or likely to be afflicted with anytime soon. Post-Orgasmic Illness Syndrome (POIS) In rare cases, some people experience a recognized condition called Post-Orgasmic Illness Syndrome (POIS). This causes flu-like symptoms—including extreme fatigue, achiness, brain fog, and low mood—that can last for several days following an orgasm. A chance would be a fine thing 😆

A song:

A thought on creativity: I have enough focus to do stuff, but not the kind of determination perhaps that goes with a top talent… Also to a certain extent due to my discomfort in places of learning I have never studied the way that so many others are able to do which may have also limited my horizons.

The Invisible folk club band which I am proud to be a part of will have a new CD out later this year. Its called Magpie Sky. Jon’s just had Cds pressed of the last album we recorded. He has a promoter and stuff will be going to folk mags and reviewers. Its being released in September. He is a plucky fellow if nothing else. Jon’s music is contemporary folk with some blues and country influence pretty much with a bit of trad and sung with a north Kent estuary accent. Jon listens to all sorts of music. Even mine .We all just keep pottering along making hay whilst we can. Knowing that we cant change things, that’s for others to do. So keep playing your guitars and flues and fiddles and accordions and whatnots and sing when you can while you may and know you and I are old fools mostly dear readers but at least we can’t do too much harm. Just hope that your children and grandchildren will do well if you have them. That is all there is really.

So I am trying a few things out. What things I hear you ask? Not telling I say. You will have to wait and see. I am writing and recording a new tune. Might be a song IDK yet. First day I have done much though I have been playing a bit of Piano interspersed with brief spells standing in front of the aircon like Marilyn Munroe over the subway vent grill in the film Seven Year Itch 😂 I have been jolly tired but I think I know why. Its difficult to take on board I imagine. I am very much but for very different reasons trying to make adjustments too but Its hard when certainty is ripped away. I am as much adrift as I was when I was a teenager . What is this adulting thing anyway. The fragile confidence I had gained has temporarily slipped its moorings.
Also today I am getting back to recording having started a new tune so I was doing the tracks for that. I had to take a bit of a break as suddenly got very tired.

Here is a quick tinkle from the Real book. It was a hot day to be sure.

I’m Old Fashioned

@dianastonemusic #dianastone #piano #dianastonemusic #lovemymusic ♬ original sound – Diana Stone

I am really wondering what to do about certain aspects of my life. I am not doing a lot of things I want to due to anxiety that has crept up on me over the last few months and left me sort of frozen or trapped like a fly in amber. Preserved but not going anywhere anytime soon. After a few days of much to warm today I just feel annoyed and tired and irritable and exhausted and trapped…

Mini rant incoming:

Some prominent Trans activist people in the UK are saying they will leave the UK and some have already done so if/encase Reform get in and so forth. I was just about to post “Guess what you entitled middle class twats, a lot of us can’t, so whilst you lot swan off we will be fighting it out with our Zimmer frames” under a comment by a trans activist that wants to do a runner. My point is most of us cant do that. Yes its their choice. Hardly fucking expressing solidarity though is it. Go on a big march wave your banners and then run away. Funniest thing yet. Andy Burnham says with regard to Trans people ” live and let live” but is now being branded as a Transphobe. Its all gone mad….I am pretty sure he is not actually.

End of Mini Rant

I have back trouble today which has manifested out of thin air it seems. I had a rough time with the arthritis yesterday and that’s tired me out big time. I still did manage to do stuff though on the musical front even so. Also I took a stroll around the manor and down to the river which I have not done for quite a while for various reasons. A pleasant enough excursion and I put some injector cleaner in my car as well as its a bit poorly at present. I am not sure if it will actually help but its worth a go.
The weather has broken from the heatwave as expected. It makes it a bit easy to actually do stuff theoretically though I am at a standstill today.

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