Yet another road block

disabilty and health news, glass cage, Musings, other

So yet more medical issues have occurred so its again 5 steps forward and 3 steps back as yet another issue hits out of the blue. My sense of humour is running thin now. And my patience.
Oh boy, what next, a plague of frogs? I give up. Will it ever end? Doesn’t seem as though it will.
I am starting to unravel a little as I write this. Somebody give me a break.

Well it turns out that truth is stranger than fiction after all. But maybe now I have turned a corner finally with at least one problem. i will not get too excited yet though as I have been caught out before.

Today is not a comfortable day though. Aches and pains again. Maybe tomorrow will be better we hope. Today I had another blood transfusion. Kind of weird though as it’s still a very odd thing for me. Hopefully that will help things along a little.

I am feeling a bit shell shocked. Even though the news is actually good mostly. I can’t really share too much information. But also I am feeling a bit rough at the time of writing. So this is a short update.

Well its groundhog day

Musings

Oh dear, oh dear never mind. I am still waiting for news and there is still none.
What to do. Well just waiting is really about all there is to do. The ward is not quiet at night and sleep was difficult. So each day is a new challenge to a degree. And no end date sight either.
A general air of gloom could easily pervade everything.

Well now I am back with common people. But I am free to roam as I have no infection and so I can use the loo or go to the shop in theory now. Hurrah. Perhaps I will go exploring tomorrow?
It’s a thought at least. I am fed up and grumpy certainly of course though but I have a strange resignation towards it and a detachment with almost an air of depersonalization.
Home seems like a distant vision of an unearthly nirvana now. I know it exists but its quite unattainable at present now without a further trial by ordeal first and even that I must wait to be called to the challenge.

Hospital routine is relentless in its regular but slow rhythm. Injections and tablets and being stuck. Its hellish.


Its difficult to cope

Musings
If only I could hit the the road again.



In what world of absolute fuckerry is required to wake people at 05:00 to weight them. Seriously. BP and stats make sense but don’t really require you to move or wake up. So instead of having a perfectly good sleep I am now wide awake. Its not like I am going to be anywhere else in 2 hours time..I am struggling again. My reserves are depleted now. Scared, not entirely rational and feeling very alone. I am about to start week 8 in hospital and cannot imagine ever going home again. I am past tears, a bit past hope. It’s just day to day survival now. People come and go but I remain feeling like I am in a warehouse waiting to be shipped having no idea where or when. Well another Saturday night in my room.

The odd distant rumble and crack of fireworks mostly unseen as we face south so away from Bedford. I do like to see fireworks but appreciate that animals are often very distressed by them. They are then best at an organised display and do not need to be loud. So sad to hear the news from Krakow tonight too of course.The world seems very disturbed right now

Away but only in my dreams to be honest. I am still waiting to see when i get a date for Papworth. Don’t think I will hear this weekend somehow. Patience is required right now.
I nearly upset a friend by answering a question too honestly.who we are and are driven by very different needs and upbringing of course. As a child I was not particularly sociable but usually had on friend. At infants school I had a friend called Belinda who was often my companion for games of imagination for quite a while. I did stay close to my mother whilst at home and once I learnt to read did become somewhat bookish.