So I am trying a few things out. What things I hear you ask? Not telling I say. You will have to wait and see. I am writing and recording a new tune. Might be a song IDK yet. First day I have done much though I have been playing a bit of Piano interspersed with brief spells standing in front of the aircon like Marilyn Munroe over the subway vent grill in the film Seven Year Itch 😂 I have been jolly tired but I think I know why. Its difficult to take on board I imagine. I am very much but for very different reasons trying to make adjustments too but Its hard when certainty is ripped away. I am as much adrift as I was when I was a teenager . What is this adulting thing anyway. The fragile confidence I had gained has temporarily slipped its moorings.
Also today I am getting back to recording having started a new tune so I was doing the tracks for that. I had to take a bit of a break as suddenly got very tired.

Here is a quick tinkle from the Real book. It was a hot day to be sure.

I’m Old Fashioned

@dianastonemusic #dianastone #piano #dianastonemusic #lovemymusic ♬ original sound – Diana Stone

I am really wondering what to do about certain aspects of my life. I am not doing a lot of things I want to due to anxiety that has crept up on me over the last few months and left me sort of frozen or trapped like a fly in amber. Preserved but not going anywhere anytime soon. After a few days of much to warm today I just feel annoyed and tired and irritable and exhausted and trapped…

Mini rant incoming:

Some prominent Trans activist people in the UK are saying they will leave the UK and some have already done so if/encase Reform get in and so forth. I was just about to post “Guess what you entitled middle class twats, a lot of us can’t, so whilst you lot swan off we will be fighting it out with our Zimmer frames” under a comment by a trans activist that wants to do a runner. My point is most of us cant do that. Yes its their choice. Hardly fucking expressing solidarity though is it. Go on a big march wave your banners and then run away. Funniest thing yet. Andy Burnham says with regard to Trans people ” live and let live” but is now being branded as a Transphobe. Its all gone mad….I am pretty sure he is not actually.

End of Mini Rant

I have back trouble today which has manifested out of thin air it seems. I had a rough time with the arthritis yesterday and that’s tired me out big time. I still did manage to do stuff though on the musical front even so. Also I took a stroll around the manor and down to the river which I have not done for quite a while for various reasons. A pleasant enough excursion and I put some injector cleaner in my car as well as its a bit poorly at present. I am not sure if it will actually help but its worth a go.
The weather has broken from the heatwave as expected. It makes it a bit easy to actually do stuff theoretically though I am at a standstill today.

.

I do keep a diary of sorts of what I am doing each day. I find it helps a little with keeping things together mentally at times.

Re my musical dilemma and quandary.

I note that several people of my acquaintance either cant get gigs or find people willing to work with them. They range from ex pro players to very good semi-pro players. The primary factor seems to be distance and age. The people you need are just too far away. There is a surprisingly small pool of players of the right demographic that are visible and I seem to know very many of them. Most of those that have a regular thing going on are people that are local to each other. And at present my mojo just seems to have up and gone.

So I guess short of divine intervention its just not happening. Age is really the issue when you drill down. Ironically If I were to move to Colne/Nelson /Burnley, those places are full of exe London hippy types many of whom play music that I would like. A lot are in a similar situation to me, roof over the head and enough to get by but not 4 holidays a year and fancy cars. So actually more my type than the folk around these parts.

As I write we are having a mini-heat wave at 32C which means I wont be doing much. I have just played Chesham Festival with the Invisible Folk Club band and it was fun but very, very warm In other news I noticed better than expected results from the streaming services so the music is getting out there even when I think its not.

Re the fuss about the Supreme Court ruling and the EC interpretation of it all kicking off. I note two very different approaches. People that transitioned or went full time around 10 years ago are loosing their marbles on social media over it. People that have been transitioned for 20 plus years or so are basically saying day they will behave the same way in day to day life. One reason I got fed up with Trans and LGBTQ people generally was that they seemed obsessed with identify and relentlessly making everything an issue hence LGBTQ musicians not musicians which meant that you were supposed to support a community that never came to your gigs. I can see why people would get fed up up with what does sound like relentless whining like a car with a knackered gearbox.. Yes there are serious issues around provision of gender affirming care of course but no amount if legislation pro or anti will will ever help a 6ft 6inch TS with a Dan Dares jawline integrate in society. No it’s not fair but it never was.

I do expect a large measure of keep calm and carry and gentle civil disobedience. Unpopular “law” tends not to work, though it is of course civil legislation and guidance. In other words an interpretation of the law and not the law itself.
So have at it briefs and lawyers all and civil advocates and perhaps uncivil advocates too. But I digress. Well I would do wouldn’t I because I am like that. I don’t think its the end of the world quite yet generally speaking though many seem to think it is. I played a bit of piano today in between watching various stuff on YouTube and not actually getting on with writing anything. The aircon is great but it feels as if your on a plane as that’s what it sounds like when its running. It really does work. I really should have brought 2,units to put at opposite ends of the apartment. That would have been cool 😂

The weary travellers plod on. At least for now. The Invisible Folk Club Band were at St Peter and St Paul Great Missenden recently. Phil Beavis Jonathan Bickley Milo Richard Downs Diana Stone . There will be some video from this gig at some point too. Thanks to everyone that came and the tea and cakes were excellent too.

That is a now picture and this one was a then. Doing a live radio broadcast on FM at Burnham On Crouch.

No glasses then except beer ones 🙂 I do have a few gigs coming up for May and June which is nice though so I am not quite completely retired yet. Things seem to come in clumps, its a bit feast or famine. But there is no doubt its much harder work now than it used to be physically I have discovered.

Meanwhile here is a song

I had a Plan I guess

Its hard at times though, today being one of them. This morning I mixed a track and put it on line whilst trying to ignore my aches and pains as usual. In other news allegedly the Gov digital ID scheme (which is not compulsory but might be useful) apparently will not have a gender/sex marker. That will no doubt cause a fuss in the GC contingents. If it is confirmed that there is no G or S marking I may well get one.

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.