The latest middle east conflict is showing no signs of calming down yet. Who knows where that will lead?
Its very unsettling. The thing is I feel better mentally not chasing stuff. I will let the live music opportunity’s come to me at least for the moment. Not being able to get gigs was actually making me feel worse about things. I do use social media a lot: 1# to promote my musical doings 2# to help support and encourage with their own artistic efforts 3# to share things I thing need making public. I don’t debate or discuss much though. Mostly as there is no point in for example pointing out the absolute rubbish about invasions of migrants to those that believe it. A lot of the punk rock generation are the worse right wing haters and agitators’ You cant get through to them any more than you can get through to Gender Critical types who have among other things managed to decimate the women’s institute and guides as a side effect. Trumps latest non-conversation with Iran makes one wonder how many non-conversations have been had with Russia over Ukraine of course.
Don’t get too wrapped up in dreams and illusions. Memories and shades passing clouds that fade in dusk and take that lingering pearlescence and cinemascope sunset just before the end credits starts to roll. It may comfort you for a moment but it can also trap and leave you lost and far behind. Don’t loose your fellow travellers if you can. You will never catch them up and there’s never anyway to make up lost time. You can stand on any hilltop, but you will never see where is end of the line…
Terry McInerny played drums for many years with Elephant Shelf and briefly the Delta Ladies too and has now moved on down the line along with Vicky Martin and Robbie Charles. So not too many of us left now from that band. Funny how time slips away.
Today I am using a solid electric guitar I brought from Vicky a few years back on a recording. Its got a bit crackly so it had to have liberal application of switch cleaner, but that seems to have done the trick.
I am feeling very tired still. Lets hope its just the weather, but maybe not of course. I am a bit grumpy today. Mostly about what I see as hypocrisy in so many places. I discovered today what a Femme Boy is. I had heard this term a lot. Apparently young often very pretty but don’t identify as Trans or TS but just look very girly. So part of the LGBTQ+ soup though.
An observation: In the last few days I recorded a song. It took a lot of work and by the time I got around to doing the final mix I thought it was really not good at all. However I put on online in the usual places and listened again and thought maybe its not so bad after all. And having done so people are playing it a fair bit. It is the case I think that particularly in anything one creates, Music, Art or Writing that one may well be so wrapped up in the process that it becomes just a collection of parts. So one might judge that it is well made but see no particular merit or spark in it. Leaving it to one side and revisiting later it may well bring to a different viewpoint. Yesterday was a day when I did very little by my standards but often an off day is useful.
I got the best spam message ever the other day:
“Illuminati invitation: Based on the membership criterion of the Illuminati, We find you to be of a great interest in possession of a good mastery of manual dexterity and academic proficiency. With this, we look at you as the class that will be the platform for which you stand to meet the wealthy people who can raise you to wealth, power, fame and glory. I strongly recommend that you join us in the Illuminati. Joining the Illuminati comes with a lot of benefits(1 million $) to start a better life with your family. Do you accept the offer?”
I must admit I am sorely tempted 😂
Its all or nothing at present it seems. I am having more generalised low level anxiety again. After the next few gigs I may just try and work on getting my head a little better. Longer days and a few walks may help. Whatever happens on a personal level requires a different approach from me now. I have got stuck in a view of life that’s not practical or realistic anymore and its fuelling stress. I know this. Hence the morbid musings I guess. 
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