Diana Stones Blog

Musings

The Moon Rises in Battersea

by on Nov.19, 2010, under Bi-polar, music, Musings, pictures

The Moon Rises in Battersea. I am hoping to start video blogging occasionally from now just to give it   more variety.
Theres a brilliant full moon tonight. I shot it from my lounge….

 
icon for podpress  Online Video: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download
Leave a Comment more...

Elephant Shelf 22.04.10

by on Nov.18, 2010, under Musings



Elephant Shelf 22.04.10, originally uploaded by Ralph Stephenson.

and there’s more…

Leave a Comment more...

Elephant Shelf 22.04.10

by on Nov.18, 2010, under Musings



Elephant Shelf 22.04.10, originally uploaded by Ralph Stephenson.

Elephant Shelf manifesting in London Colney.
Picture by Ralph Stephenson.
Check him out on flikr

Leave a Comment more...

A quiet week

by on Nov.18, 2010, under Musings

I have been involved with a lot of non-musical stuff this week, various website projects and fixing stuff. Getting  a new PSU and and installing  it in my old computer, coaxing my video camera back in to life after its been mothballed for a couple of years, and one or two other things. The last few gigs with the Shelf and the Deltas have been quite eventful too. I have got the taste for a bit of make do and mend now as its quite satisfying to get stuff going often very cheaply too. In between the practical stuff I have been chilling out a bit as well and I am going to try and do a video blog, though it is likely to heavily feature my cuddly toys collection. I am also spending  a little time looking at other possible income options to augment what I am getting.  I also had not realised how stressed I had got with my personal finances or rather the lack of them and it seems quite bizarre to be receiving a pension as part of my regular income, but it gives me just enough to keep going if I am very careful which is of course I will be and have been for the last couple of years having left the tried and trusted working as an office drone.

The other thing that has greatly affected me is the realisation of the frailty of some much of what I and most people take for granted in life and the fact that the clock is ticking so the message is do it now. Actually having time and choices is quite empowering for a change, but I was never that good at making decisions for my self though I was great at doing it for other people.

Leave a Comment more...

Elephant Shelf, The Salisbury 30.10.10

by on Nov.17, 2010, under Musings

I think I must have been very tired when this was taken.
Picture by Ralph Stephenson.

The Salisbury used to be a regular haunt of ours.

Leave a Comment more...

Winter draws on

by on Nov.07, 2010, under Delta Ladies, Elephant Shelf, Musings

Any Les Dawson fans out there? Well there’s a lot going on right now, and most of it is fairly positive for a change.

On  a personal  level things are a little bit more stable now, though there is still a lot to be done. I am amazed at the number of people that actually visit this blog and I wish I had some stunning insights that I could share with you all but unfortunately I don’t. It’s been fairly hectic on the gigs front with the Elephants Shelf  & the Delta Ladies mostly out London which is good but I am suffering from a little bit of motorway fatigue as I have seen quite a bit of the M4 and the M25 in the last couple of months (mostly at about 03:00 in the morning).
It’s refreshing to find so many really good venues providing live music with really enthusiastic audiences, and we seem to have found quite a few lately.

Leave a Comment : more...

My Diary from 1985

by on Oct.03, 2010, under Bi-polar, Musings

Just by chance I happened to open an old diary from 1985 and it felt open on a significant page.  The end of a somewhat odd relationship with a girl who had Bi-Polar. At the time I was not aware of the devastating effect that Bi-Polar has on peoples lives and I had not identified my the nature of my own mental problems either.
I worked back through the diary and discovered that the relationship had lasted 6 months almost to the day. I suspect that there were many reasons why it did not work out but I have no doubt that one of them was simply my being far too needy.  Also to be honest I was not terribly interesting company in those days and may well have seemed very boring indeed.  If I had been able to meet me then I would I think have found someone with very limited horizons doing a dead end job that was easily amused and incredibly naive and also in complete denial of their own nature.

What is strange to me is that I should find out 25 years later that she had taken her own life a few years after I knew her as I had always imagined her as the kind of person that would have succeeded at most things she wanted to do…

Life leads us down some very strange paths.

Leave a Comment : more...

Stigma and discrimination

by on Sep.19, 2010, under Bi-polar, Musings

Stigma and discrimination

Stigma and discrimination can have a huge impact on the lives of people affected by depression and, for many, they are the single biggest barrier to recovery.

Stigma is experienced by people affected by depression when negative judgements are made about them based on the condition, usually as a result of stereotypes, misconceptions or fear. Stigma can take many forms. It may be someone making an unpleasant remark or ignoring you; or assumptions being made about the kind of person you are or your abilities. Discrimination is the active part of stigma, when someone is not only judged because of the condition they experience but is actually treated differently.

It may seem that understanding and awareness of mental health problems is
improving but many studies have shown that stigma is still widespread. Consider the following statistics:

  • The most common mental illnesses are anxiety and depression (22% of the
  • population) but when asked to describe mental illness 63% of people said it was ‘someone with schizophrenia’ (which affects just 1% of the population). This figure has increased from 56% ten years ago. (Department of Health 2007)
  • The number of people who believe that someone with a mental illness is ‘someone who has to be kept in a psychiatric or mental hospital’ has also increased over the past decade, from 47% to 59%. (Department of Health 2007)
  • Belief in the link between mental illness and violence has similarly risen, from 29% to 36%. (Department of Health 2007)
  • A fifth of employers say that they would not employ someone who had been in
  • receipt of Incapacity Benefit. (Chartered Institute for Personnel Development May 2006)
  • 18% of employers said that they would not employ someone who has experienced mental ill health compared to 10% who wouldn’t employ someone with a physical disability. (Chartered Institute for Personnel Development May 2006)

Institutionalised discrimination

Stigma and discrimination start at the top, creating a climate within which employers routinely exclude people with mental health problems from work and other organisations feel empowered to discriminate too. The state discriminates by:

  • Having legislation that allows internment on the grounds of a person’s medical condition (as opposed to whether someone is dangerous)
  • Giving less weight to witness evidence from people who have had mental illness
  • Barring people who have had mental illness from public service – for example, not allowing them to sit on juries
  • Barring people who have had mental illness from holding public office
  • The Royal College of Psychiatrists has recently drawn attention to a range of health professions whose entry criteria exclude people who have had mental health problems.
  • Even where people with mental health problems are not openly excluded, informal discrimination makes it hard for them to pursue a career in professions such as law, medicine and politics – a recent report by the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Mental Health found that 1 in 5 Members of Parliament has had mental health problems, but most felt they could not disclose this publicly.

Insurance companies may deny health, personal and holiday insurance to people who have had mental health problems, and can refuse to pay a claim where an applicant failed to disclose their history, even where this has no bearing on the claim.
Employers regularly exclude people with mental health problems from work –seeking to sack those who develop problems while refusing to employ those with a history of mental illness.

Self-exclusion

Another manifestation of discrimination is a process of self-exclusion in which people behave as if discrimination will always happen. For example, while someone with depression is right to fear that they might be discriminated against in employment, they would be wrong to believe this will always be the case. If, however, they avoid seeking employment, and fail to take advantage of the help available because of this fear, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Stigma in the media

The media regularly link mental illness with violence and homicide even though the number of homicides by people with a mental illness has fallen significantly over the last 50 years (during which time, the number of homicides has increased by more than 500%).

Elsewhere, the media regularly use stigmatising language on a par with some of the language used to describe ethnic minorities back in the 1970s.

While challenges can be made against television and radio coverage of mental illness through the regulator Ofcom, the Press Complaints Commission only considers complaints where an individual is directly affected by press coverage. So, for example, only Frank Bruno could complain about the “Bonkers Bruno” headline – those of us who feel it is inappropriate to use the term “bonkers” to describe someone with a mental illness have no right of redress. This said, we all have the choice not to buy newspapers and not to subscribe to TV stations that discriminate in this way.

Over-estimating severity

The majority of people with a history of mental illness choose not to disclose their condition publicly – or to be very selective about who they disclose to.

One problem that arises from this is that those people who are “out” about their mental illness are often those who have little choice in the matter – those with the most severe and enduring conditions; those in long-term contact with specialist services; those who have been in contact with the criminal justice system; those who have been excluded from employment; those in poor housing; those who lack social networks and intimate relationships.

This leads politicians, health and social care professionals, journalists, voluntary organisations, and user/survivor groups themselves to stigmatise the majority of people with mental illness as being much needier, much more dependent and much less self-resilient than is actually the case, by applying the characteristics of the 10% with the most severe and enduring illness to the 90% with common mental illness.

Many people with depression find it highly stigmatising to be legally categorised as “vulnerable” or as “disabled”, when most, for most of the time, are fully able to work and to function in society.

Leave a Comment : more...

Try being over 50 and having mental health issues. Then try and get a job with a mental health charity

by on Sep.11, 2010, under Bi-polar, whatever

Try being over 50 and having mental health issues. Then try and get a job with a mental health charity as you have exactly the skill set required then wait for them to not even bother to contact you although they say they run a guaranteed interview scheme...

Legislation does no good even those supposedly in the business of helping people with mental health issues discriminate against the very people they are supposed to be helping.

I suspect a lot of these Charity’s are run by 30 somethings who have never had any issues in their life. I think I may have to expose some of these people.

Any one from Mind Sane or any of the other lot care to contradict me…

Leave a Comment :, , more...

Looks a lot like the end of the road from here

by on Sep.11, 2010, under Musings

If there is anybody out there that can help now would really be a good time…
I am not holding my breath though.

Leave a Comment more...

September 2010

by on Sep.04, 2010, under Musings

Well things are in a state of flux right now and everything is very uncertain here at Battersea Towers.
Its now nearly 3 years since I left the office in to be honest not the very best state of health.  Unfortunatly things go in circles and I am back on the anti-depressants for what feels like the millonth time.  Luckily I can function enough when I am playing with the band but I have been feeling very low otherwise and its really an effort doing anything.  I am also waiting for some information with regard to my personal circumstances so that I can plan what to do next. The delay is putting my stress levels through the roof though and I am getting very anxious. 

All the stuff I have been doing with Elephant Shelf & the Delta Ladies have been very well recevied and we actually played at a legit folk night at the Cambridge Folk Club which went rather better than I had expected too, so creatively things are going fairly well. 

Fingers crossed that something will turn up soon that will get me out of the mess personal  I am in.

Leave a Comment more...

Very close to the edge now

by on Aug.09, 2010, under Musings

I am still waiting for some sort of answer.

Leave a Comment :, , more...

It never gets any easier

by on Aug.07, 2010, under Musings

I asked for some advice in another place. Not the House of Lords, but another place out here in cyberspace. Silly me, I should have known that it was a bad idea. I have a few problems that I am trying to deal with and I am doing everything I can to find answers to them, so why do people get off on being so unhelpful? Its bad enough having to contend with mental health issues, debt and just finding away to keep existing  without getting grief off some seriously sad individual that gets a buz off internet trolling.  I can’t sleep properly and even my dreams are getting disturbed now because of the problems I am having. I won’t go into too much detail here but even the simplest things to seem to be getting difficult now.

Leave a Comment :, more...

Thought for the day

by on Jul.05, 2010, under Musings

Ecclesiastes 3 (New International Version)

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

15 Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account. [a]

16 And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
in the place of justice—wickedness was there.

17 I thought in my heart,
“God will bring to judgment
both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
a time for every deed.”

18 I also thought, “As for men, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. 19 Man’s fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath [b] ; man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. 20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal [c] goes down into the earth?”

22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?

Leave a Comment : more...

Underneath the lamplight

by on May.25, 2010, under Musings

In latrec

Latrec

Latrec

1 Comment more...

Installed in Mazamet

by on May.23, 2010, under Musings

I am having a very nice time down here in France,our first couple of gigs went pretty well.
The first was at the Auberge du Balestie which had a great view of the Pyrenees from the car park, you tend not to get that sort of thing in St Albans Lots of ex pats there plus a fair smattering of French folk, and a very nice drive there and back over the Black Mountains.

This Saturday we played at the L’Pot Ethique which is a place in town, a sort of co-op with organic beer & stuff and we got a very good crowd, this time much more of a French contingent and it was very well received and for the first time on a duo gig we put in Great Balls of Fire which was a good opportunity for some karate piano. They also did some fab veggie food too for the visiting artist LOL.

The guy who is getting us the gigs was very happy with our performance and we could be looking at some good stuff in Europe later this year.

Its very hot today, just come back from a stroll around the town, with hardly a soul about. We will be doing a bit more site-seeing during the week as our next gig is Friday and is in a local bar here. Then another one on the other side of the Mountains on Saturday. I could easily get used to this sort of life style, I think.

Leave a Comment more...


A little sleep a little slumber a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will come apon you like a robber.

by on May.13, 2010, under Musings

When I feel very depressed, or maybe a better way of saying: when I am very depressed, I can handle very little stress. I am irritable. Very small things can make me snap completely, and this is very hard to handle for the people around me.

I passed by the field of a sluggard by the vinyard of a man with no sense and low it was all overgrown with thornes and the ground was covered with nettles and its stone wall was broken down then I saw and considered it I looked and received instruction

A little sleep a little slumber a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will come apon you like a robber.

Leave a Comment more...

Some people

by on Apr.25, 2010, under Musings

Some people just drive you mad…

Leave a Comment more...

April news round-up

by on Apr.22, 2010, under Musings

OK, well I am still here just about, though feeling a little fragile at the moment.I have been giging a quite bit, between 2 and 3 gigs a week with Elephant Shelf & the Deltas so that’s kept me suitably distracted. I still don’t have much of a long term plan, but it seems to me that much of what used to constitute my life has  blown away on the wind somewhere.

An average day for me when not gigging  consists of about 3 hours of piano practice and maybe working on writing new material and working on ideas for demos.  Also updating web stuff, and trying to keep my rusting programming skills intact, so that if any freelance stuff comes in I am actually ready to roll. I do miss the routine of going to an office and the certainty’s that it provides.  Mood-wise I have been quite low on a couple of days, and that has made the day to day mundane stuff difficult to get through. I have lost a lot of confidence and really do feel that would be quiet a good idea to retire to bed and stay there most days.

Leave a Comment more...

Looking for something? Well I guess we all are, but you can't always get what you want but sometimes you get what you need

Use the form below to search the site:

Still not finding what you're looking for? Drop a comment on a post or contact us so we can take care of it!

Visit our friends!

A few highly recommended friends...