Diana Stones Blog

Well things are in a state of flux right now and everything is very uncertain here at Battersea Towers.
Its now nearly 3 years since I left the office in to be honest not the very best state of health.  Unfortunatly things go in circles and I am back on the anti-depressants for what feels like the millonth time.  Luckily I can function enough when I am playing with the band but I have been feeling very low otherwise and its really an effort doing anything.  I am also waiting for some information with regard to my personal circumstances so that I can plan what to do next. The delay is putting my stress levels through the roof though and I am getting very anxious. 

All the stuff I have been doing with Elephant Shelf & the Delta Ladies have been very well recevied and we actually played at a legit folk night at the Cambridge Folk Club which went rather better than I had expected too, so creatively things are going fairly well. 

Fingers crossed that something will turn up soon that will get me out of the mess personal  I am in.

I am still waiting for some sort of answer.

I asked for some advice in another place. Not the House of Lords, but another place out here in cyberspace. Silly me, I should have known that it was a bad idea. I have a few problems that I am trying to deal with and I am doing everything I can to find answers to them, so why do people get off on being so unhelpful? Its bad enough having to contend with mental health issues, debt and just finding away to keep existing  without getting grief off some seriously sad individual that gets a buz off internet trolling.  I can’t sleep properly and even my dreams are getting disturbed now because of the problems I am having. I won’t go into too much detail here but even the simplest things to seem to be getting difficult now.

Ecclesiastes 3 (New International Version)

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

⁹ What does the worker gain from his toil? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has laid on men. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹² I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. ¹³ That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. ¹⁴ I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

¹⁵ Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account. ^[a]

¹⁶ And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
in the place of justice—wickedness was there.

¹⁷ I thought in my heart,
“God will bring to judgment
both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
a time for every deed.”

¹⁸ I also thought, “As for men, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. ¹⁹ Man’s fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath ^[b] ; man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. ²⁰ All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. ²¹ Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal ^[c] goes down into the earth?”

²² So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?

In latrec

Latrec

I am having a very nice time down here in France,our first couple of gigs went pretty well.
The first was at the Auberge du Balestie which had a great view of the Pyrenees from the car park, you tend not to get that sort of thing in St Albans Lots of ex pats there plus a fair smattering of French folk, and a very nice drive there and back over the Black Mountains.

This Saturday we played at the L’Pot Ethique which is a place in town, a sort of co-op with organic beer & stuff and we got a very good crowd, this time much more of a French contingent and it was very well received and for the first time on a duo gig we put in Great Balls of Fire which was a good opportunity for some karate piano. They also did some fab veggie food too for the visiting artist LOL.

The guy who is getting us the gigs was very happy with our performance and we could be looking at some good stuff in Europe later this year.

Its very hot today, just come back from a stroll around the town, with hardly a soul about. We will be doing a bit more site-seeing during the week as our next gig is Friday and is in a local bar here. Then another one on the other side of the Mountains on Saturday. I could easily get used to this sort of life style, I think.

When I feel very depressed, or maybe a better way of saying: when I am very depressed, I can handle very little stress. I am irritable. Very small things can make me snap completely, and this is very hard to handle for the people around me.

I passed by the field of a sluggard by the vinyard of a man with no sense and low it was all overgrown with thornes and the ground was covered with nettles and its stone wall was broken down then I saw and considered it I looked and received instruction

A little sleep a little slumber a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will come apon you like a robber.

Some people just drive you mad…

OK, well I am still here just about, though feeling a little fragile at the moment.I have been giging a quite bit, between 2 and 3 gigs a week with Elephant Shelf & the Deltas so that’s kept me suitably distracted. I still don’t have much of a long term plan, but it seems to me that much of what used to constitute my life has  blown away on the wind somewhere.

An average day for me when not gigging  consists of about 3 hours of piano practice and maybe working on writing new material and working on ideas for demos.  Also updating web stuff, and trying to keep my rusting programming skills intact, so that if any freelance stuff comes in I am actually ready to roll. I do miss the routine of going to an office and the certainty’s that it provides.  Mood-wise I have been quite low on a couple of days, and that has made the day to day mundane stuff difficult to get through. I have lost a lot of confidence and really do feel that would be quiet a good idea to retire to bed and stay there most days.