The same as

It’s not been a good week for me. The sort of week when you smile at people when you really don’t feel like it, and to make it worse they are very pleased to see you and tell you how well your life seems to be going, but of course they really don’t have a clue how your feeling.
Not that you particularly want to tell them of course as really they wouldn’t want to know.

So you keep up the pretense as long as possible.

But the cracks start to appear eventually.

The thought of the future being the same old same old is not exactly inspiring whilst the fear of it is almost enough to keep ones head permanently under the bedclothes. You make a certain choices in life and then proceed to make the same mistakes over and over again. Every time you think you got it sussed its like a game of snakes and ladders, mostly you end up back where you started from or pretty close to it anyway. At which point you say “Well I tried” and if your lucky you get the consolation prize, which is actually not that consoling as it turns out. 4 steps forward two steps back so it almost feels like progress, but your never going to reach the that prize are you?

Somewhat disappointed about my own naivety. Doing favor’s and trying to be altruistic is seen as a sign of weakness by many it would seem. I will write on the blackboard 100 times “Must remember not to take things on trust as people are likely to abuse my good will”.