At what point does one become aware of the ultimate futility of doing anything

Come on the all you strivers out there,  just stop it and lie down now. Go on you know you want to. You don’t? OK maybe it’s just me then.  The law of diminishing returns is kicking in now for me personally.  There are a lot of things I have put quite considerable effort in the past that have given me a fair amount of satisfaction but this year I have felt  them to be more and more disconnected and irelivant than ever. Perhaps I am just shouting into a bucket and the only sound is my voice coming back at me, slightly distorted and perhaps a bit too loud.  The world gets stranger minute by minute,  and every little victory or gain is almost instantly counterbalanced by a loss.  It would  perhaps be better to be blessed with such a huge ego that everything could be glossed over or blamed on someone else.

Dylan sings a song “Everything is broken” and now it seems as though it really is. But again is just the way I see the ways of a world that was hidden from me before?  What can you temp me with that would make me toe the line. Very little though it is said everybody has their price, I just don’t know what mine is.  Having time to think moves from being a blessing to a curse when the detail in the shadows is revealed.  There are many things lurking in the darkness and we can safely ignore them as long as we give no more than a cursory glance. Once something has caught your eye though there is no looking away.