Thoughts for this day

 What do you actually want and do you think you will be happy when you get it?
Only joking.

Not be able to see people that I know added the fact that its possible some wont be around by the time we get out of current restrictions is a major downer to be honest.

I think that for me, its a an acute sense of loss that I will not be able to break away from from until such time as we all get properly out of jail and that’s going to be a while. I am trying to cultivate any possible social and musical green shoots, but even with all technology available to help stay connected its very hard going.

Today has been very hard. I think there is something missing in my in my head at a certain level. I just cant live the way I used to My days at home are often a bit grim now. I have and am trying to crack on with stuff but there is an over whelming feeling of it all being a waste of time and pointless. That is depression pure and simple. Today was almost a not getting out of bed day, but I did manage to pull it together just about. Perhaps I need some drugs. (The prescribed sort?)

I have been practicing sight reading on piano and also writing down a few musical ideas. Also a I have been doing a  little production work on collaborative project. But by evening my mood has tanked again. There has to be more.