I don’t like to push to much, but that’s hard if you make music and actually want it to be heard by anyone. Also I try to not get pretentious and keep a light touch and a sense of humour, but that is not always to my advantage. We are not judging you….
I have had a week of self doubt about what I am doing, triggered perhaps by as usual to much introspection. I listened to a couple of recent tracks that I though were not so good and after a break from them they actually sounded rather better than I had though at first listen. Ear saturation perhaps? Particularly when listening to the sound of your own voice where over familiarity breeds utter concontempt. But what is there to do but just keep pushing on…
I played at an Irish style session last night with the Also Rans (a loose Irish collective) and it was a fine and pleasant evening of music for a Saturday night. There is something to be said for simplicity at times. I need to relearn that on occasion. Whilst talking casually a couple of people were surprised at my age, (I can’t recall how it came up in conversation) but I said it’s all an illusion, slights of hand and deception. I do forget and then my body reminds me 🙂
Don’t you hate waiting, at the dentist or for the cable guy or the automobile association.
On a recent rehearsal with Jon Bickley with we played our next gig set 3 times in a row. A bit of a workout, but we also videoed it too. Next week we will do the same thing again. Its for a gig in Amersham in a month or so. I don’t play many gigs these days and I also play with several bands, duos and also solo. These days every gig is often completely different. As time has gone on my personal position in terms of security and finance has become more stable whereas other people i know are now now not so assured and comfortable as they were. I am still very anxious which is triggered I believe mostly by personal issues, but almost any new activity it seems can set it off. Good bad or different or indifferent. Even if it’s something I am really looking forward to. Crazy.
So today is a waiting day. Ho Hum. Blogg on then. I have a new tune, but not all words for it yet. And very little inspiration either. I have drawn a mental blank. Feelings though do wash over me at times, a little out of control and they rattle my cage.
Currently I am playing with the vocal processor on a track. Its quite an interesting sound as I am singing quite jazzy lines and the effect is both pleasing but also very weird harmonically. I will put on a “straight” vocal line too and maybe use a bit of both in the mix. I have no idea if this track will work as its got very weird. Its definitely a marmite song. But sometimes you just have to let loose and get off the leash. Its brewing up for something though.
This is a tune of Vicky Martins which was finished after her death.
This a lyric that I am using in a new song that’s currently in the process of being recorded. It will be either too weird or very good 😂
Lost to others in all but dreams
Today is the day you thought you were waiting for.
All worries and sin is cleansed and swept away, but you don’t feel any better. You just sit reading that letter, is it better to have loved and lost at all. One day you will get the call, then you will stumble and you will fall. And wonder how this ever came to be. One moment on the bank then you slip into the stream and times current pulls your head under and you are lost to others in all but dreams.
I wish that you had held your hand out and i could have grabbed it very tight. I would have held onto you and pulled with all my might. My grip though would be as tight as days have passed and strength has withered on the vine. And then you slip out of my grasp.
Today is the day that you will never know, that you never knew. But we that still see you are all left behind.
I played a good old fashioned rip roaring pub gig last Saturday with the Sonic Boomers at a country pub in an outdoor marquee. It was a bit cold and we were worried that there would not be enough brave souls willing to step out into the wild outdoors but we had a good crowd and we played well. For a brief moment it felt like old times again. This weeks going to be a quiet one though with no rehearsals or social contact so it may be a bit hard going.
I am still having a bit of a mental fight about certain aspects of my life. My inner life is very weird at times as is my inner dialogue. Yes I am strangely strange at times. Don’t overthink it is the rule. The old bones are complaining too as its raining again.
Lyrics: "Let me try and tell you how I feel now. The world is shattering around me like broken glass. I am not under attack but I know that you are, but you are aiming at the wrong target. "
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